Palm Springs hike
Early morning hike into the hills south of Palm Springs

Stories aside, the Winter Solstice is really the beginning of a new year. The earth reaches the end of a pendulum swing across the solar system and spins back toward the sun. It is dazzling to think about all the motion whizzing around us. In the middle of it all, we conjure a world, a platform where we can find our balance, even though no straight line lasts for long.

It’s easier to relax into it now that I am older … having made it through this dance 69 times. Looking back, I can see how much time I wasted trying to control it, trying to be right. The more cycles I see, the happier I am just to be OK.

Although we return along the same path, after reaching the end of the swing, the whole business has moved in the meantime. A spiral, not a circle. The same pattern in a different place. The more I do this, the more I am inclined to mistake the pattern for a place all its own. The pattern becomes comfortable and I begin to apply it everywhere so that the circumstances, which seem to be out of my control, matter less.

I was struck by something astronaut Scott Kelly said about his year in space. He was asked what was different about living without gravity. Scott described the feeling we get at the end of a long, hard day. When you’re tired and aching, you can lie down. Gravity pulls on your body and it lets go. You collapse into the bed and you feel all your muscles dissolve. This is a feeling we can only get on Earth. In space, says Scott, there is none of that.  There is no end, no rest of that kind. Missing completely one end of a cycle we are used to … and designed for. His body was not made for that. Over the year, it began to come apart inside the skin.

That’s one end of the spectrum. The limits of the material world we are built for. Physical boundaries. The other end is a retreat entirely into the imagination. Let the world outside fall to pieces while we dream. The body won’t last long that way either. Nothing remains at either end of the pendulum swing. We have a specific place in the scheme of things.

Cycles of different sizes are frequencies. There is a frequency to the seasons, to the months and to the days. There is a frequency to love and hate … and to good and bad. As some animals are keenly aware, intentions have a frequency. The patterns that I personally am most used to resonate with some designs and not with others. My true intentions are broadcasting ahead, like radar. This is the journey of discovery, because underneath it all is the frequency that never goes anywhere – me. The trick is to separate the signal from the noise. Souls are drawn to harmony. The individual notes only have meaning in the music itself.

The child in me keeps hoping, like a character in a Shakespeare play, that I will see a sign from the universe. Reminds me of all those years I spent waiting for the metaphorical good news in the mail. After seeing a few cycles though, I can’t avoid the fact that it is up to me.  But I don’t want to just make it up. I want to be aligned, connected. There is a note, a sound, a vibration to an underlying rhythm … the body of the pendulum swing. When I don’t see it, it is not because it isn’t there, it’s because I want to favor a certain point in the swing. I want to keep things a certain way. That never lasts for long. I want to more consciously go with the flow. When I encounter an agreeable resonance, I feel like I belong.

The signs I have seen from the universe tell me that I am connected, that all my anxiety about being alive has been fundamentally a waste of time. Unfortunately, like everything else, that state of mind comes and goes.

I’m a little early with this New Year’s greeting. I want to suggest a little time to prepare. Real intentions can be a little hard to find. And it is real intentions which will be seeking to ‘shake hands’ with the world at large next year. Following the prevailing winds is the direction toward something new. By starting over, at the same time as the planet itself, seems like we might catch a breeze.

I see a turn coming, away from the defensiveness and bad behavior that accompanies insecurity.  We have forgotten that we are all in this together. The way life spills into our awareness, we will be reminded. That is the nature of this coming year. There is magic and mystery in the realization that if I truly change my mind, the world changes with me. Spirit is stirring. Words are unable to keep up with new perceptions of the universe and the nature of reality itself. Everything is connected. The makeshift world I built by separating stuff out of the current resides only in my mind. That’s all I will ever know. However, what I can experience, what I can feel, appears to be limitless.

The instructions on how to navigate a non-dual reality are shrouded in terms meant to defy the imagination. If it is everywhere, then it is nowhere, so the usual rules don’t apply. For a reason. If it is too easy, it will be abused. This is something we see all the time from those ‘who have found the way’. Realization accompanies the effort, not the result. Where the little (someplace) world stops and the big (everyplace) world hovers is on the edge of identity – the origin of free will.

On 12.21.2018 we can make up our minds with galactic winds at our backs. We can choose how to be, what to become, while everything is still new, with the momentum of Spring. The more of us that do it, the easier it gets.

What sometimes holds me back is that I don’t have to change. I don’t want the discomfort that accompanies not being sure of something. Sometimes I am too comfortable, too lazy, too apprehensive or too impatient to do something properly. Only doing it properly, with awareness, makes it work. I know this and I still flop about half the time. I have a lot to learn.

As we are pulled back toward the sun, we are renewed – knowing that, for a while, there is more light to come. Life will get brighter.

Thanks for following the blog. I wish I could say what was coming next but it’s probably something I haven’t seen before.

Happy New Year!


3 thoughts on “12.21.18

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